Why Miss California Shouldn't Be Lynched

Hey, everybody. It’s been awhile since I’ve posted, but before I get to my newest topic, I want to say that I had a great Prom and Day of Silence. It was awesome to see all my friends wearing their white knots during both days. A lot of people in the community asked about them, so I think it went pretty well.

Now, to the topic that’s been bugging me for the past couple of weeks. Hopefully by the time I post this, it’s irrelevant (I know it sounds horrible, but thank God for swine flu wiping out this annoying headline).

Miss California made huge waves during the Miss USA pageant when judge Perez Hilton asked her if the United States should follow in the path of Iowa and Vermont, who just ruled same-sex marriages valid. When the beauty queen Carrie Prejean answered that she believed marriage was for a man and women only, all Hell broke loose. Perez and fellow judge journalist and former Miss Nevada Alicia Jacobs, as well as other contestants and people affiliated with the pageant, spoke out against her (Perez later recanted his attack on her), and it was all over the news. Suddenly we heard how her church taught homosexuality was centered on pedophilia and how Alabama legislators passed a proclamation praising her answer.

I just have to say, “What the heck?” Why are we blowing this up to be such a huge deal? It’s not like our government is going to base its decisions on the answers of teen beauty queens. I do entirely disagree with Prejean, but I wasn’t offended by her answer. It’s the same thing I hear every day from other bigoted people, so I wasn’t shocked, but I did admire the risk she took with her answer. She gave her honest opinion, very bravely, to a room full of openly gay men and women. I don’t condone what she said, but I condone her saying it.

What did shock me was the lack of professionalism from the judges. Perez did release an angry rant calling her a “dumb bitch,” but he later recanted his statements. I thought that was big of him. However, when I read the statements of fellow judge Alicia Jacobs, it struck me how childishly she handled the situation. Not only did she reveal that she and the other judges made their choice of not giving her the crown (how dare she reveal the other judges’ opinions or discuss what happened at the judging table) but she was “tweeting” on Twitter the whole time. Um, idiot, do your job!

What if Miss Cali had stated she for gay marriage, then won the crown? Several reliable reports show that she has worked with right-wing and “marriage protection” groups over the years. If she’d said what the judges wanted to hear, she could have easily won the crown, but then her anti-gay background would come out, shaming her even further. How embarrassing would that be for the pageant?

I just wish everyone would drop it and move on. It’s done. Miss California’s answer may have been ill-advised and against current social standards (especially in the pageant community), but it was her response. Her answer should have lost her the crown; not because of what she said, but how she said it (she stumbled slightly and kept trying to find common, more neutral ground when she just should have been quiet).

I’m not worried about what one beauty queen has to say. I’m more worried about our nation’s Rresident, who is also heavily supported by the LGBT community, who has always said he believes that marriage should be between a man and women. Why isn’t anyone jumping down his throat? Miss California isn’t running this country; he is. Obama is a great advocate for the gay community, but he should be under more fire than some runner-up in a mediocre popularity contest. What about the state legislators in Alabama, who wasted their session time to pass a resolution praising someone who represented another state? Don’t they have anything more important to do?

Okay, that’s it. I’m just sick of this topic. I know it’s hypocritical to bring it up when I speak out against so much, but I just had to say that. Thank you, Miss California, for speaking your mind like a true American and showing us that there is still need for ending the ignorance of homophobia in American youth.

Day of Silence: April 17th

Hey, everybody. With everything going on, I totally forgot to mention another important event for the month of April in my last post. This event is one of the most important in the teenage LGBT community every year: Day of Silence, which is Friday, April 17th.

Day of Silence is an annual nationwide project created by the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN). During the day, students from middle school to college take a vow of silence in an effort to draw attention to the harassment, bullying, and discrimination (or silencing) LGBT students and their allies face on a daily basis. This brings about a call to action by students, parents, teachers, and so forth to bring an end to such discrimination. This is the 13th annual DOS. More information can be found on http://dayofsilence.org.

While most schools that have Gay-Straight Alliance clubs sponsor the event, not every school has such an organization (mine included). For those students, it is important to organize the event ourselves, and get our peers to participate. It can be pretty daunting (I did it last year, and this year as well) but it can be done.
The most important thing is to get students who will take the event seriously. The LGBT educational movement is only hindered when those participating act foolish or immature. Avoid students who merely wish to not talk in class. Make sure they understand the implications of this project.

Finding students can be tricky, especially in schools where open LGBT students are few. This is why open-minded students, especially underclassman, are integral. Not only are they often willing to support what most would see as a lost-cause, it is important to educate the younger generation who do not have as much experience with LGBT discrimination.

For the most part, the faculty and administration will not try to hinder you. We have an amazing set of rights schools dare not infringe open. If someone tries to reprimand you, gently remind them of your rights and ability to contact your closest American Civil Liberties Union. If they continue to not allow your protest, act upon it.

Yes, I know my post comes fairly late in the game. You might feel that organizing the event this soon before the day is impossible. It’s not. If you hit it hard, you can still make a difference. Even an individual student is better than nothing. Think of the big picture. We need to make our schools safe for LGBT students. The implications of doing nothing are far too great. It’s time to break the status quo. Good luck.

For all the information you need to participate in DOS, visit http://dayofsilence.org/. They have speaking cards, event planning guides, FAQs, legal advice, and much more.

The Busy, Busy Month of April

Hey, everybody! Sorry it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged, but so much has been going on right now that I haven’t had a chance. Well, I’ve finally had a break in scholarship deadlines, which is good because all kinds of stuff have been happening lately! So this might be a pretty long post. Bear with me.

First of all, HECK YES IOWA AND VERMONT! Marriage equality for both! Within the past few weeks, the Iowa Supreme Court struck down the gay marriage ban, while legislators of Vermont overrode the governor’s veto on a bill that allowed full same-sex unions. By the time I get this online, more states could have followed suit. New Hampshire, Maine, and Washington DC are both tackling the issue, and of course, we still await the decision about Prop 8 in California. If you are a resident of one of these states, please get the word out! We need voices to make this happen. And with prom season upon us, I urge those attending to use the dance floor as a podium and don a white knot, the hottest new LGBT protest symbol during the event. Heck, if you can wear one then, you might as well wear it everywhere you go. More information can be found at http://whiteknot.org/.

Personally, I’m amazed what this month has brought me. Not only were these fantastic feats of equality accomplished, April has (and will be) a very busy month for me. Every single week has something new.

During the first week, I had the fortune to see what I am convinced is the most amazing concert ever: The Circus Starring Britney Spears. My mom and I, with my bestie Jaleigh in tow, drove up to Kansas City, Missouri, so Jaleigh and I could attend the incredible show. It was magnificent; the stunts, the dancing, the music, and every other aspect were above and beyond the status quo. I even enjoyed the Pussycat Dolls (Britney’s opening act), and I’m not a huge fan of their music. The crowd was along every step of the way; I have never heard such fanaticism. She did mostly tracks from her newest two albums, Circus and Blackout, but even brought back songs from her yesteryears. We all lost it as soon as the words “Oh baby, baby” warbled through the stadium. And I have never seen so many gay men in one place in my whole life. It was empowering. I lost my voice (which I luckily regained before a forensics meet that same weekend) and spent tons of money on merch I really didn’t need, but I wouldn’t change a thing.

Of course, to justify getting out of school, I had to do something others would deem “productive” as well. Luckily, I was able to visit the Kansas and Western Missouri office of the American Civil Liberties Union, a major force on the LGBT fighting front. The three of us had an amazing hour and half conversation with its director Dan Winter about all sorts of things: growing up LGBT, scholarships, current LGBT issues, college, and much more. I received a ton of information about LGBT rights and how to fight them, and my school didn’t mark me absent because to my visit.

This week is also special: I am turning 18 on the 9th! Finally, will be able to purchase “adult” materials, spray paint, lottery tickets, and have many more freedoms. I will not be purchasing tobacco, however, because that’s just not good. Big Tobacco has plenty of money to spend trying to get children to smoke; I’m not helping their cause. I eagerly await my first night of clubbing (alcohol-free, of course) with friends. Dance is such great exercise!

The week after that is my senior prom. My suit is EPIC (pics to come). I won’t be taking Dakota, unfortunately. We decided to both go to our own instead. I’m taking my good friend Danielle in his place. I look forward to a full night of fun and freak dancing (all while sporting my white knot!)

In the final week of April, my favorite book series still producing new novels releases its eighth book: 8th Confession. Yes, a new chapter to the Women’s Murder Club saga by James Patterson hits the shelves April 27th. You absolutely have to try these murder mysteries (and get them two at a time because as soon as you finish one, you’ll wanna pick up the next). The first book is called 1st to Die, and the entire series is amazing. Do yourself a favor.

Well, that’s it for now. After this busy month, I wonder what lies in the months that follow. Surely they won’t be nearly as exciting as this one. I’ll probably be bored out of my mind. Oh, well. I saw Britney. I can die now.

One year changes everything

Hey, everybody. I know it’s been forever since I’ve written (busy, busy) but until recently there has not been much in the way of LGBT news, nationally, that is.

However, March 4 is the one-year anniversary of the day I came out. Yes, one year ago I shed my skin of shame and opened that metaphorical door to let my light out.

Wow. Looking back I can only say how quickly it passed by. Maybe it’s the extreme amount of crap going on like college, senior year, and work that made this short year pass me so fast. Maybe it’s the weight that was lifted off my shoulders when I came out that finally allowed me to enjoy life.

I’ve changed so much. One year ago, I was opinionated yet soft-spoken. Now I have a blog about being gay and my opinions on society. One year ago, I was coming out in hopes of luring someone (anyone) else out of the closet at my school so I could have a boyfriend and take a boy to Prom. Now I’ve had two boyfriends (although only one counts) and am trying to decide if I want to go to his Prom or mine.

I’ve also gained an amazing support net of friends who seem to admire my courage. My mom and I have gotten closer, and my family has become less homophobic. I don’t think it’s necessarily because they don’t want to offend me but because now that they know someone who’s gay closely, they see that gays are just like anyone else. My network of online friends has expanded to include some fantastic queer people (<3 you, Caroline!) and I’ve met some really great people.

I’ve immersed myself in gay culture. Before, I listened to mostly country music. Now my play list is filled Madonna, Cher, Britney, Lady Gaga, and other gay icons. It’s not because I’m buying into some stereotype of the gay man, but these artists are really fantastic and I wouldn’t know them if I hadn’t came out. I’m also a newly found fan of Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho, and others, who I see as champions of the gay rights. I’ve become addicted to gay and lesbian movies and televison, such as Queer as Folk, Will and Grace, anything from here!, and my biggest addiction, Dante’s Cove (FIND IT; YOU WILL BE ENTHRALLED).

More than anything, I’ve begun to enjoy life more. I know what I want out of life, and I’m out to seize it. It’s quite the head-trip. Now that I can focus on my health and exercising, I stress-eat less and quit wallowing in my shame. I truly believe my life started one year ago. I’m out, and never going back in.

Scholarships ARE Important!

Hello, readers! I haven’t posted in awhile. I came down with some sort of weird virus thing (I’m sick in the morning, fine in the afternoon; it’s very strange). I’ve missed almost a week of school, so I’ve been insanely busy trying to handle that situation. Basically my life is nuts right now.

It’s that time of my life where I’m busy trying to get ready for college. I’ve already been accepted into the University of Missouri-Columbia, and with out-of-state tuition, I’ll be paying upwards of $30,000 every year. Naturally, I must devote a bunch of time to applying for scholarships and grants.

I’ve applied for several scholarships, even some rather large ones, but haven’t had much luck. This is why I recommend that you should apply for every single scholarship if you even kind-of fit the criteria. Sites like fastweb.com provide an enormous number of scholarship opportunities for both high school and college students.

I check my Fastweb account about once or twice a week. Having a creative writing class allows me to spend time on these scholarships and even get my essays proofread.

Not everyone has this option. However, it’s not hard to find a teacher who will proofread for you anyway, especially if you find one who likes you. Most of them will write glowing letters of recommendation, too.

By now, several scholarships have passed by. However, it is never too late. Check with your guidance counselor. I’m sure he or she will have all types of scholarships available.

There are even scholarships for the LGBT community. A simple Google search brings several to your computer.

Be careful. Some scholarship websites are scams. That’s why I only use Fastweb. Anything that asks for credit card numbers or anything of that nature is probably not a reputable site. Sometimes they do need social security numbers and such. Check with your guidance counselor to be sure. Also, don’t forget to fill out the FASFA!

Good luck, and may the scholarship race bring you immense rewards!

Two things that really tick me off

Hey, everybody. I originally intended for this post to be about my New Year’s resolutions, but other circumstances have arisen, and I’ve had one of the worst days of my life. Several different people have pushed me to the edge today, and I just have to vent.

A lot of behaviors tick me off. However, there are some that really get my blood boiling.

For example, I dislike people who have poor grammatical skills. I don’t hate them, but it does bother me. People who don’t proofread papers in school also are a pet peeve of mine. It also depends on the person. A frazzled teen with little time to type an essay will get more sympathy from me than someone who’s had the assignment for weeks.

However, those pale in comparison to when teachers don’t proofread the assignment they give you. I know they have a lot on their plate, and most of the time teach numerous classes, but seriously, how hard is it to review your work?

A few minor errors are to be expected on occasion. No one’s perfect. However, habitual and glaring mistakes make me wonder how some teachers even got a degree. It interferes with my education and tells me that you don’t take your job or me seriously. My parents spend tax money to pay for your salary, and I expect a higher standard than what I receive, especially when I’m also paying around $300 to use it as college credit. It’s not fair for me to have to decipher what’s on the page. I have other classes I have to worry about.

When a student expresses a concern over the subject, there’s no reason to feel so emasculated and defensive about it. Childish behavior in front of the whole class also makes you look like more of an idiot than your complete failure of basic English language skills.

I’ve had to deal with another situation a few times in the last two weeks.

If you’re gonna talk trash about someone, make sure they aren’t in ear shot!

This has happened to me THREE times since January began: twice by a person of authority and once by someone I considered an acquaintance.

First of all, it ticks me off when someone can’t confront me with an issue about or caused by me to my face (and I do practice what I preach; I’ve confronted everyone who has done me wrong lately). I’ve done my fair share of gossip and venting, but I always confront the person.

And if you are going to talk about someone behind his or her back, don’t do it in front of him or her. I wasn’t out of view any of the three times, and still people decided to carry on defamatory conversations about me. If you are going to talk about me while I’m there, at least give me the courtesy allowing me to defend my point. Have we gotten lazy as we’ve grown older and allowed our cattiness to spill beyond secret e-mails and hushed whisperers?

So there. I’m done venting. It felt good. Hopefully, you’ve learned a couple things about decency and etiquette and have gained confidence to call out those who do wrong by you.

First post of the year!

Welcome, readers, to the New Year! This will be my first post of 2009, and I hope you enjoy.

I’m going to start the year off on a scolding tone. Frankly, I am sick and tired of the destructive decisions of some teenagers.

I am talking about alcohol.

Now, I’m not some prohibitionist who wants to see it outlawed for all. When used legally by adults in moderation safely, there is nothing wrong with it. To ban it because of the alcoholism of a few underaged users is unfair to people who can use it safely. What really pisses me off are people who are underage who drink and break the law.

I know the industry targets youth. As an active member of Students Against Destructive Decisions on the national level, I’ve been educated on all the things that make teens drink. And I’m not against teen drinking because it’s against the law (there are lots of laws out there I don’t agree with).

Frankly, teenage drinking is stupid, self-destructing, and unsafe. Teens seem to think they can handle booze, but for most teens that’s not true. It is a drug; it changes chemicals in the brain, which is still developing until the age of 20. So not only is the teenage brain incapable of handling booze, it screws things up even more.

I have a lot of faith in people my age: I know teens can change the world and be very influential on society. I just don’t believe we can handle booze.

Over New Year’s, a closeted friend of mine got wasted and came out to a friend. The next morning, he denied it and played the whole thing off as a joke, thus “saving” himself. This is just one example of what can happen when you drink!

If you drink, you could make the same dumb types of choices. If you’re not emotionally ready to come out, and you act like my friend, there could be dangerous consequences. You could also die of alcohol poisoning, have unprotected sex resulting in an STD or pregnancy (yes, sometimes gay people can sleep with members of the opposite sex while drunk), get in a car accident and hurt/kill yourself or another person, or millions of other horrible things. Studies also show people who drink at a young age have a greater chance of developing alcoholism.

You don’t have to drink to have fun. You don’t have to drink to get rid of your pain. You certainly don’t have to drink to be popular or well-liked. I am begging you to make the right decision, and wait until you’re 21. The law is there for your protection. Don’t let it fail you.